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Friday, December 29, 2006
today's a mighty bad day for me.
yeah. dont know why but i just feel really down.
everything seemed normal but it wasnt.
i just had a feeling that it wasnt.
i cant find the true reason why i feel this way. -.-

but i know that i always hurt other people when i'm feeling this way. ):

you asked me if i honestly think i can make it.
i told you i cant. yeah. that's how i really feel.
i very much want to change that
i want to do it well. but i dont know why i just cant.
everything seems so hard.
and you asked why i smile even though i know i cant make it.
well, i've thought about it.
i alr feel bad that i can't make it. and if i frowned, i'd feel worse.
i dont want to make myself feel like that.
i'd rather make you all think im crazy or something to still be smiling though i know i cant make it.
i dont want to feel bad. really.
i'm really sorry if you think i'm not doing well enough.
i'm really trying my best. and i really do envy those people that can do well.
yeah. i'm not trying to imply anything.
i just want to let you know that i have done my best.
and though i want to do way more, it's hard. ):
maybe this just isn't the thing for me. i dont know.

i suddenly realised the reason why i feel how i feel today.
but i trust that things will go well. hopefully.

#GERALDINE.