manage to live through today.
yea, things went on as per normal.
nothing special really happened.
ms chin wore a new shirt counted as special? -.-"
lol. history test was average. neither easy nor difficult.
but some qn that came out frm class test come out again.
irritating. i didnt really study much luh. :/

tmr is lit paper. last paper. no confidence luh.
lit aint an easy subject. understanding must be good i guess. :P
finally exams are gonna be over((:
whee~
morning practices will start on fri i guess. aww.
gotta wake up uber early. )):

but that isnt necessarily bad. heh.
I MISS MY INSTRUMENT! :D

ohyes,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JEANYEE&YIQUAN! :D
older by ONE year old alr(:
haha, enjoy your special day! :P

#GERALDINE.

#GERALDINE.

sigh sigh.
the first time i feel so stressed in my whole entire life.
yesterday i didnt sleep luh.
cos i was so worried about maths.
but worrying didnt help ; neither did not getting enough sleep.

maths was bad.
i cannot and did not finish the paper.
i didnt know how to do many questions, so i tikam tikam. :/
chinese was fairly easy.
not too difficult luh. managed to finish and stay awake to check.

it's all over for me i guess. D:

tomorrow's science paper is giving me stress now.
D&T aint much of a problem(:
cos Mr Lau say can dont study. lol.
then dont study lor. :X

i studied the whole day.
but i still cant get chapter 2 right.
should i give up? o.O

#GERALDINE.

my dad seems to have mood swings man.
just this morning he was okay.
then afternoon he flared up, for NOTHING.
wth lah. i was the "victim" lah. grr...

then after that he scolded my sister.
what is so wrong with him? what's his problem?
crazy. anyway, in the evening he was okay.
now he seems very moody again.

i shant talk to him now lest i get scolded again. :/

anyway, the whole day today i did maths.
over and over again. that ONE worksheet.
but im sure to forget tomorrow.
so tomorrow's another day of maths. -.-
argh. EXAMS SUCK. )):

endurance + perseverance. FOUR MORE DAYS.

#GERALDINE.

feeling much better now.
the stomach virus has gone i guess. ((:

studied for maths test on monday until im gonna go mad alr.
the whole day of MATHS. :/
shall continue later. XP

got this from jeanyee's blog. hehe. looks fun.

A - Damn good kisser.
B - Good all around person.
C - You're wild & crazy.
D - You have one of the best personalities ever.
E - You have a nice ass.
F - People totally adore you.
G - You never let people tell you what to do.
H - You have a very good personality and looks.
I - You get hyper easily.
J - Everyone loves you.
K - You like to try new things.
L - You live to have fun.
M - Success comes easily to you.
N - You are absolutely beautiful.
O - You're an awesome person.
P - You are popular with all types of people.
Q - You are a hypocrite.
R - Sexy!
S - Easy to fall in love with.
T - You're loyal to those you love.
U - You really like to chill.
V - You are not judgemental.
W - You are very broad minded.
X - You never let people tell you what to do.
Y - One of the best bfs/gfs anyone could ask for.
Z - You're a little too hard to find.

heh. it spells GERALDINE((:
lol! just for fun luh. :P

geography paper yesterday was difficult.
it's not that i dont know the answers.
but the questions were confusing.
very very indirect. i didnt understand most of the questions and what they were asking for.
so i just filled the answers in anyhow.

english was okay.
the passage for comprehension was confusing too. )):
but managed to finish, though i had a feeling alot of the answers are gonna be wrong.
the part where we had to fill in the meanings was worse.
almost all the words were "strangers" to me.
some i've seen before, but i've never really bothered to check for the meanings. :/

sigh. can only hope to do better for the rest of the subjects.
JIAYOU((:

#GERALDINE.

the flu has gone into my stomach.officially.
threw up more than 8 times today.
(gosh. and i didnt eat anything.)

went home after maths feeling sick.
almost threw up in the car. :/
horrible horrible stomach flu. )):

i went home and daddy persuaded me to eat alil.
he managed to make me eat some rice with soup.
but after i ate, i threw it all up again. -.-
thus, the whole day, my stomach was empty.
cos everything that went down came right back up.

went to clinic. the doctor certified it to be a stomach virus.
got TWO days MC and medicine.
slept for 2hours and felt better.
could at least take out geography to study. ((:
dinnertime was better cos i didnt feel as nauseous(sp?) and giddy.
at least i could walk without feeling as though im falling down.

yeah, but im going to school tomorrow.
at least go take tests. if i really dont feel well then go home.
ohgosh, tomorrow is the dumdum storytelling thing. :/
i dont know luh. see how tomorrow ba.

going to try to study geography again.
see if it's any better after the medicine.

#GERALDINE.

you think im dumb.
you think i dont know.
but i do. i saw what you did.

i just pretended. i didnt wanna argue.
because i know you're right.
i wish i didnt see it. seriously.
i wish i didnt know. honestly.

i may seem naive, but im not stupid.
i know when things dont seem right.
what do you take me for?
i have feelings too, you know.

i wont decide to not talk to you forever.
i wont ignore you.
i dont think i'll do anything.
i'll just stay aside, with my disappointment and sadness.
i just hope i'll recover soon.
or i may not fufil my commitments.
better still, i'll just quit.

#GERALDINE.

TOMORROW START SCHOOL ALR.
BUT IM NOT READY!! D:

im still in holiday mood, obviously.
today is the last enjoyable day... )):
fun aside, FRIDAY is common test alr.
GEOGRAPHY's first ; gosh. i barely understood the chapters. :/
i cant stand the thought of it man.

*note to self: GERALDINE TAY! YOU BETTER START REVISION LEST YOU DONT DO WELL AND GET AN EARFUL FROM YOUR PARENTS!*

aww. can i SKIP THIS TORTURE?
lol. jiayou ba! ((:

to everyone taking common test or whatever test, good luck! :DD

toodles! ((:

#GERALDINE.

second day of new year.
went to more places. but then less red packets. lol.
dont know why. but doesnt matter.
had great fun with my cousins. we laughed like crazy. (at least i did. XP )

all my cousins become so chio alr. especially yixuan jiejie.
im jealous lah. :X
haha. devin and priscilla become darker leh. lol.

sigh. now that new year's almost over,
the next time i see them will be NEXT YEAR. D:
aww... )):

first went to my mum's relative there.
ate lunch and lil bit of tidbits.
saw my "ah yi(s)".
although they married alr but still look young and chio. haha.
then got one of them is a teacher of pri sch.
then her husband is teacher of sec sch.
wah. so smart. all teachers. XP
one of my ahyi told me,"i that time saw you on tv leh."
like omg, that was 2 years ago leh. u still remember??
(maybe cos past 2 years i didnt see her mah. so she now then tell me.)
then i replied,"no luh. not me not me. see wrongly lah!"
LOL. she still remembers me though we see few years one time only.

went to auntie jane's after that.
just talked for a bit. yeah.
then went to some relative's house and talked more.
is new year all about talking and talking? lol.

watched alot of tv today. cos there was nothing much to do at auntie helen's house.
allowed my lap to be a pillow, causing my whole leg to be NUMB.
lol. managed to resist most temptation for fear that i'd grow horizontally and gain weight.
:D good for me!

didnt do anything much there. felt like dozing off.
nobody to talk to, nobody to laugh with.
everyone else had something to do. lol.
denise jiejie and i ate and laughed and talked after she woke up from her "nap".
the yixuan jiejie came and we watched tv again.
see, the whle day i watch tv and watch tv. -.-

pity i didnt take photos.
cos i forgot to bring the dumdum cam along with me. :/
you know, come to think of it, i dont really know alot of my cousins. :X
lol. anyhows, i think that's about the end of my new year(:

#GERALDINE.

whoo~
first day of CNY is coming to an end.
lol. tmr will be a new day(:
seventeen red packets. $250 dollars.
hmm. this year money seems lesser than usual.
haha. never mind lah. it's the thought that counts. LOL.
tmr got summore anyway. (:

looking forward to tomorrow. haha.
dont know why. (psst. . . not because of red packets okay. XP )

#GERALDINE.

SO BORED ; SO BORED.
lazing around waiting for reunion dinner to start.
might as well come blog. (:

havent been posting for a while.
too busy. common tests coming alr.
but im not prepared!! :/

yesterday went for dinner with my parents.
the restaurant had karaoke. lol.
it was a so-called reunion dinner lah. unofficial de. xP
his workers sang and sang. some sabo-ed me to sing. -.-
like wth lah. i dont even know most of them.
then told my dad to stop pestering me after i sang one song.
LOL. so i sang, very softly. but got mic. :/
but then his friend asked me to sing again.
so bad lah. i alr sing once liao. then still must do AGAIN?!

today's reunion dinner was okay.
mood was abit different from past years.
cos my aunt isnt here. haha.
usually, there'd be fights ; argues because of her.
and every year, we dont get to eat in peace.
but i guess, we get peace this year(:
haha. but the food seems alil too much as usual. XP

#GERALDINE.

eve of new year eve. lol.
today got celebration.
then the CLDDS performance is good(:
so was the teachers' item. haha.

i felt so damn stupid at the prize presentation lah.
cos i was clueless about what to do. :/
and i was just so dumb.
anyhow lah. -.-

went back to MPS.
in home clothes cos i gotta go out.
then like everyone see me ask same qn.
"why you wear like that come?"
like omg lah. EVERYONE asked lor.
saw alot of people and realised people changed.
ALOT of people changed.

lol. need to go alr. will blog more soon(:

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE! :D

#GERALDINE.

why dont you EVER give me a chance?
they say time can heal all wounds.
but i guess it doesnt work that way for me.
i think the longer the time, the deeper the wound.

we no longer understand each other.
i believe so.

you never trust me.
you never believed in me.
you never thought of my feelings.
everything was about HER.

i always cry ; not infront of you ; secretly.
i dont want anyone to know what im going through.
the physical part is okay. i can still take it.
the psychological part can kill me.

i dont want to make you all upset.
then i'll start ignoring you.
life would then be miserable.
i just want everything to be peaceful.

people always told me that i should cherish people around me.
dont regret only when you lose them.
but why cant i do it? why do i take every little thing for granted.

sometimes when i go out,
i dont ever wanna come home.
are you the reason why?

I REALLY DONT KNOW.
but why cant you be more like (name here.)?

#GERALDINE.

im seriously very bad-looking at this moment.
cos i've got a sunburn and my pimples are like appearing out of nowhere.
thanks to FOOTDRILL. ><

we did about 4 hours of footdrill man.
UNDER THAT SCORCHING SUN.
all of us were warm, thirsty and tired.
hweejoo seemed as though she was collasping.
TAKECARE, MY DEAR(:
yenling and kaixin the strongest.
they ENDURED the long hours and PERSEVERED.
*applauses.

we didnt play anything today.
just marched and did crazy foot drill. yeah.

lessons were pretty much summarised in ONE WORD - BORING.
english got test, i almost fell asleep. but didnt. cos counted in CA.
then CME tcher didnt come. mr yeo came to relief.
he started teaching HISTORY. :/
the next teacher was the PE teacher.
we got one free period anyway.

then geography, ms ng returned our test papers.
i got 16/20. junmin is PRO lor. got 19/20.
then LE i slept lah, as usual. dont know wth he talking about.
history got back test paper.
i got 12/20 i think. alot of funny funny mistakes lah. :/
lit - dont even wna talk about it. most boring lesson i guess.

today's my mummy's birthday(:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D

{ i may be switching URL again. -.- cos i heard LJ can lock up posts. hmm. some things ya'll shouldnt see ; shouldnt know. maybe only lah. }

everything seemed a little weird today.
or is it just my imagination?
i just wish everything wasnt so confusing.
so i'd understand better.

#GERALDINE.

today's PE was a torture to my legs.
until now, i still cant feel my legs.
i wonder if they're there. *looks down.
yeah, they are. just aching. :/

cos we did this weird exercise.
30 secs per station.
every station was a different exercise.
then must finish the SIX stations.
then got 3 stations consecutively toturing our legs.
standing board jump ; star jump and burpees.
now i have problem sitting down man.
cos i bend my legs only it will ache even more. -.-
but i prefer this tcher to mr jeffery tan lor.
at least we get to play games.

the rest of the lessons were pretty much normal.
had to tell my story again dur chinese.
that junmin lah. supposed to be her turn lor.
then she havent memorise. haiyoyo.
so the tcher called me. ><
hweejoo and gladys very funny.
they go toilet. then by the time they come back i finished the story alr.
then lai lao shi ask for comments. they just give. LOL.
they didnt even listen. haha. this was how the conversation went.

{everything is translated from chinese to english.}
lai lao shi: so how do you all think she fared? any comments for her?
*hweejoo and gladys walked into class and heard lai lao shi talking.
gladys: very good!
hweejoo: more confidence!
lai lao shi: yes, more confidence.
gladys: very good lah.
lai lao shi: *looks at her and smiles. you never even listen to her story.
gladys: *laugh and laugh.

haha. if you all were there you all will laugh. LOL.

#GERALDINE.

it's not gonna happen.
nothing's gonna happen.
no matter how hard i try,
everything's still not going to end the way i want.

why do i still try so hard to please you?
why do i still do so much for you?

because you're my mother. yes.
no matter what i do, i can never hate you.
i know i was very mean yesterday.
and im very very sorry.
it was out of a fit of anger.
and im pretty sure you know what im like.

i've already apologised.
what's done is done and it cannot be undone.
all i can do is try to make it up to you.
i dont know if you're going to stay angry at me.
but i just want you to know i didnt mean to scream at you.
and im very very sorry.

i was so affected today that it was as though i had depression at the start of the day.
i didnt talk ; i didnt laugh ; i didnt ask questions ; i didnt really feel like doing anything.
i just wanted to scream everything out.
it was only after PE that i resumed my normal self.
cos i allowed myself to stop thinking of all that sadness.
but after school, i tried to put this thought aside when i was talking to jiaying.
but i cant. so i decided to do something for you, hoping you'll forgive me.

i hope you like whatever i've prepared for you tonight.
i guess all i can do now is hope.
cos all that needs to be done is done ; the rest is up to you.

{even though i know she'll never see this, i still have to post. cos i cannot keep this inside me anymore.}

#GERALDINE.

IM STRESSED OUT.
IM WORN OUT.
YES. VERY VERY.
I FEEL SO DARN IRRITATED AT TIMES.
SOMETIMES I CONTROL ; SOMETIMES I CANT.
IM SORRY TO THOSE WHOM I HAVE HURT.
I CANT SEEM TO MANAGE TIME WELL.
I FOREVER HAVE THINGS TO DO.
THE LIST SEEMS ENDLESS ; INCOMPLETE.

EVERYDAY'S A BOTHER NOW.
I WISH I DIDNT HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL.
I WISH HOMEWORK DIDNT EXIST.
I WISH TIME COULD STOP SO I CAN GET ENOUGH REST.

I SLEEP DURING CLASS NOW.
AND IM ALWAYS SO LIGHT-HEADED.
SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO SCREAM.
SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO CRY.
SOMETIMES I WANNA DO BOTH.

NOW MY RESULTS ARE DROPPING.
LOWER AND LOWER.
I FAILED MATHS EVEN THOUGH I STUDIED.
IMAGINE THE MARKS I WOULD GET IF I DIDNT STUDY?
I CANT SEEM TO CONCENTRATE.
I DONT WANNA STUDY ANYMORE.

NOBODY SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND.
NOT EVEN MY PARENTS.
THEY ARE MAKING IT WORSE.
THEY'RE ALWAYS SO BIASED.
IM FOREVER IN THE WRONG.
THEY'RE ALWAYS RIGHT. MY SISTER'S ALWAYS RIGHT.
BUT IM NOT, YEAH.

WHEN IM USING THE COMPUTER,
THEY SAY IM CHATTING,
EVEN THOUGH THEY SEE AN ESSAY RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THEM??!!
IT'S AN ESSAY. WHICH PART OF IT LOOKS LIKE MSN?

I JUST CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE.
SO DONT TEST MY PATIENCE, PLEASE.
I BOTTLE EVERYTHING UP INSIDE ME.
AND WHEN I GET SO TIRED OF IT,
YOU WONT LIKE WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

#GERALDINE.

{written on 5/2/07}

saturday's birthday dinner was absolutely wonderful.
i went to the CHARCOAL to eat dinner. (charcoal is the restaurant name)
then i ate the four course dinner. (i chose pasta out of four choices.)
my sister also chose pasta. my mum ate fish.
then we took alot of photos. haha.
i think the soup was nice. (:

{Don't take my photo lah! I want to eat my dinner! :P}

{Take Kimberly eating instead! :D}

{Why must you take me when I'm eating?? Haiyo! :/}

{Trying to resist the temptation. LOL. Take photo first lah.}

{okok. you wanna take, i let you take. after this one we shall resume eating?}

US AND ALL OUR FOOD(:

{Dad and his lamb chop}

{Me and Yummy Spaghetti}

{Mum and her fillet}

{Me and my sister.}

{Me and my parents}

{Me and My dad}

{Me and Mum}

{My sister ; ME ; My mother}

{My parents}

{My sister and mother}

{FAMILY(:}

{I even took photo with the most handsome waiter there. XP}

got one photo of my tiramisu and european carrot cake.
whoo! got candle summore. SO CUTE(:
but i didnt eat the carrot cake. i ate tiramisu. :P
the carrot cake i dont like. XP

{see the TIRAMISU?? yumyum.}

{My birthday carrot cake!}

{and the carrot cake. no candle.}

{blowing candle(s)!}

{you wanna see what the pasta look like after everything's gone? XP}

i was SO HIGH that i laughed until my face all red and i couldnt stop laughing after that. XD
in other words, i enjoyed myself very much! :P

#GERALDINE.

okay.
morning practice was okay this morning.
just that after that was DARN TIRED.
got back HMT. so very disappointed.
got 37 and 37.5 for the two papers.
then got one i only get 80% of the marks i think.
or is it 80% of the total marks?? :/
anyway, it's saddening luh.

my science got 26.5/32.
okay only luh. got a VERY VERY SILLY MISTAKE.
they alr put at the top 'the magnesium atom LOSES two electrons to become the magnesium atom.'
then i write the equation i still wrote 'Mg²⁺ + 2e^- = Mg^-
im crazy luh. didnt read the stupid instructions. :/

now that everything's said and done,
the rest is up to you.
yeah, im not one bit excited.
nothing's gonna turn out what i expected.
nothing will be right. ):

#GERALDINE.

i suddenly realised something after an announcement yesterday...

SLEEPING TIME IS PRECIOUS!

lol. now i cannot sleep longer alr. :/
cos of morning band practices. grr...
so everyday i shall look sleepy and feel irritated. :P

anyway, yesterday's music exchange was fun.
and not to mention, scary. lol
in the middle of the seventh night, i wanted to go toilet. -.-
and i met new friends. (:

yesterday's dinner was great(:
i got to take photos with this caucasian waiter! :P
haha. i got alot alot of photos!! XP
i love the tiramisu there luh. hahas.
the food was GOODGOOD. LOL!
shall elaborate when i have PHOTOS! :D

#GERALDINE.

played captains ball today dur PE.
so fun. lol. cos very long didnt play. :P
obviously cos mr tan wont let us play games.
and today he didnt come! :DD
haha. got tcher relief. we had abt one period captains ball.

then ms chin didnt come. haha.
so we have 2 periods of relief. (:
but then PW period was not good.
wont go into detail but it wasnt good luh.

chinese test today was okay.
not very easy ; not too difficult.
but english needed more thinking.
but completed in time anyway.

i've alr gone through the test.
mr png tested me.
i was DARN NERVOUS.
alot of pitching went HAYWIRE.
but fortunately he didnt get angry.
gotta practice REALLY REALLY HARD(:

these few days have been losing sleep.
but i dont know why. am really tired.

actually, i realised what's wrong already.
but i just dont know how to change it.

#GERALDINE.