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Thursday, February 08, 2007
it's not gonna happen.
nothing's gonna happen.
no matter how hard i try,
everything's still not going to end the way i want.

why do i still try so hard to please you?
why do i still do so much for you?

because you're my mother. yes.
no matter what i do, i can never hate you.
i know i was very mean yesterday.
and im very very sorry.
it was out of a fit of anger.
and im pretty sure you know what im like.

i've already apologised.
what's done is done and it cannot be undone.
all i can do is try to make it up to you.
i dont know if you're going to stay angry at me.
but i just want you to know i didnt mean to scream at you.
and im very very sorry.

i was so affected today that it was as though i had depression at the start of the day.
i didnt talk ; i didnt laugh ; i didnt ask questions ; i didnt really feel like doing anything.
i just wanted to scream everything out.
it was only after PE that i resumed my normal self.
cos i allowed myself to stop thinking of all that sadness.
but after school, i tried to put this thought aside when i was talking to jiaying.
but i cant. so i decided to do something for you, hoping you'll forgive me.

i hope you like whatever i've prepared for you tonight.
i guess all i can do now is hope.
cos all that needs to be done is done ; the rest is up to you.

{even though i know she'll never see this, i still have to post. cos i cannot keep this inside me anymore.}

#GERALDINE.